Turns out I’m a big boy…

It’s official, I’m apparently a 270 pound man.

This is a bitter pill to swallow, as I’ve previously been 250 pounds which took me on an aggressive weight loss/muscle building journey down to a fit 180 pounds over about the course of a year.

I’m now 20 pounds heavier than I was back then. This…is awful news.

What’s my excuse? The same excuse as it always is, laziness. I’ve become extremely complacent with just living a convenient life full of processed foods, massive meals and crappy snacks. For years. Before COVID I was in a comfy relationship and lost my desire to maintain a “presentable” body, thinking I’d be able to keep things under wraps…this was the beginning of the end.

I’d gone through a ton of stress in my life around that time. Having gone through a separation and eventual divorce, financial and emotional instability… it was a rollercoaster of a life for quite awhile there. That’s all cleared up now, but now we’re in the COVID side of the world.

I’m home just about 7 days a week for all hours of the day. Food is delivered to me if I need it. I sit in my computer chair for probably 70% of my waking hours.

Working from home during COVID has the benefit of having a better work/life balance, but what I lost was any semblance of social pressure to remain presentable. That social pressure was gone, and it was the only thing holding back the floodgates.

So here I am…270 pounds of Keylime thickness.

…what am I doing about this?

Well, the first step towards fixing a problem is of course, acknowledging you have one. So here I am, letting anyone who cares to know that I’ve become a big boy. First step, nailed.

Now comes the fun part, actually doing something more tangible to lose the weight. Going from 250 to 180 in a year and maintaining that 180 for many years after, I know what needs to be done. I know way more about nutrition and weight loss and muscle mass building than your average bear. I’ve been here before, I’ve succeeded before, I can do it again.

I will do it again.

My biggest enemy when it comes to food has always been WHY I eat like garbage. Its two fold, and they’re beautifully synergistic with each other, which makes me an amazing over-eater. Firstly, I eat aggressively as a coping mechanism when I’m depressed. This reason is relatively behind me these days, but of course is always present when you least expect it. I believe this one should not hit me too badly in the foreseeable future…assuming some unforeseen thing doesn’t ruin that. My other issue is using food as a boredom solution. Sitting around the house all day and night leads to a lot of boredom, and that’s absolutely been one of the main contributing factors to this puffy boy you see before you.

Armed with my knowledge of what to do and how to do it… I should hopefully have a leg up on this process. But ya know, I can’t help myself from seeing how the world of weight loss programs have changed since back then. Obviously the “science” of weight loss hasn’t changed, the nutrition necessities and body chemistry aren’t any different. What’s different is just needing the motivation to get it done.

I’ve decided to give Noom a go for a handful of reasons. Namely, it’s largely a mental program with nutritional guidance within it. The mental game is where I need the most help when it comes to food. I could almost write a book on the nutrition aspect (but reminders never hurt), but my head needs a thorough washing so I can get this done. We shall see how it goes, but I love the first steps of the program so far.

It’s because of Noom that I can even tell you that I weigh this gross amount of 270. Which is a good thing at the end of the day. Ignoring that your house is being eaten alive by termites doesn’t change the fact that you’ve got a problem you need to address before you lose the whole damn house. One of the first things it had me do for my Day 1 is get my scale out of storage and commit to using it every day. I used to weigh myself 3 times a day, every day, for years. I could tell you how my body would react to any meal, to any exercise, to any bowel movement, to any sleep duration… I know all about the stalls. I know all about how the scale isn’t the be-all-end-all answer to health.

I’ve always had body dysmorphia before I even hit high school. Even in my best shape, I could only focus on my flaws and faults, and it was never good enough. Hopefully I can learn to love myself on the outside as much as I do on the inside.

It’s time to reclaim my health.

See you again at 180.